Vigil
by SETI-fan
Summary: Tony's thoughts as he waits in Vance's house for Gibbs and Ziva to arrive at the end of "Shabbat Shalom".


**I'm sure there are going to be a hundred stories like this coming out, but I couldn't resist after watching "Shabbat Shalom". Cannot wait for "Shiva" next week!**

* * *

Tony had never liked being alone in a room with Eli David and it wasn't any easier when the man was dead.

However, he found himself volunteering to stand vigil over Eli's body while McGee accompanied Vance and the EMTs outside. Part of it perhaps was knowing that McGee would be better talking to the medics and fielding calls from Gibbs or whoever else needed updates. A bigger part was that there was no way he was letting Ziva walk into this room without being there.

The sounds of the ambulance's siren and the conversations and panic surrounding Vance's wife were muffled outside, though still audible through the bullet-shattered windows. Tony stood silent and still, guardian of the tomb of an all-too-well-known soldier, and stared at the body before hi. The body of Ziva's father.

He was used to being intimidated by the man, and very used to hating him. Seeing him now like any other victim they investigated was disturbing in a number of ways. He kept expecting the man to wait until the commotion was over, then peek an eye open and reveal it was all squibs and bloodpacks, letting Tony in on the joke with that darkly wicked twinkle in his eye. But for once, the old man did not have the upper hand, no more tricks up his sleeves.

He should feel more pity for the man. He had just been gunned down over dinner after all, but Tony wasn't quite ready for that yet.

He still hated the man for the pain he had caused Ziva in the past, from the big things like Ari and Somalia to the day-to-day neglect that had led her to crave his approval so badly.

He hated that every time Eli returned he brought trouble with him, the extent of which was still to be seen for Vance's family and the balance of international politics.

He hated that Ziva couldn't just enjoy a visit from her father without having to second guess his every word and look for betrayal in everything he did.

And he hated that he realized he actually had to be grateful to the man for something in this bloodbath. Because Tony had looked at the dining room and seen the seat with the napkin thrown on it in anger. A seat positioned directly between Eli David's and the window the bullets had come through. Whatever Eli had said or done to piss Ziva off enough to leave the room had no doubt saved her life.

_At least you did one thing right, whether you meant to or not._

The door opened and Tony looked over to see Ziva running in. His heart leapt with relief for the first time since he'd seen the bullet holes and blood to see with his own eyes that she was alive. But it clenched again as her eyes met his, begging for hope and comfort that he didn't have to give her.

"No," she breathed, following his gaze to her father's body.

Her grief hit him like a bullet of its own. He wasn't sure he'd heard her sound that pained even when Rivkin died. This time he wasn't responsible, but he still felt just as powerless to console her. While their friendship had deepened over the past few months, it wasn't yet to the point that it would be natural for her to accept even a hand on her shoulder, much less a hug from him. So he held his silence again, continuing to stand a sort of guard as she grieved.

And for a moment he hated Eli again, that for everything he had done to Ziva, she still mourned him like a father who had been there for her all her life. It confirmed to him that Ziva's thoughts about her father followed an achingly familiar pattern.

"_Maybe this time it'll be different." "Maybe he's really changed this time." "Maybe from now on we'll make up for lost time and do things right."_

He looked at Eli's body and finally saw what he'd been trying not to see while standing vigil: that there were so many times it could have been Senior he'd found at a scene like this. He had finally made a sort of peace with his own father this past Christmas. Maybe Ziva had been on the verge of making a similar one with Eli, but now that had been stolen from her forever.

And he knew that there was someone out there he hated more than Eli.

Tony stalked to Gibbs with Ziva's anguished voice in his ears and fire in his heart. "Who did this?" he growled.

Because while Tony knew that he couldn't bring her any comfort now, soon enough her grief would turn to anger and then he would be there for her, whatever she needed him to do.


End file.
